This was my son the day he was born.

He was 1 month early.

Three days prior an amniocentesis had told us that his lungs were not even developed enough to be considered immature.

He had been under stress for weeks prior to his birth, he had endured three and a half days of induction.

His first APGAR was a 4.



His second APGAR was a 7.

He was completely calm all through and after delivery, he never did cry.

He was breathing without any help at all 10 minutes after birth.

Because he had been through so much, was early, and had been exposed to so much, (including an infection (in mom) that was not responding to antibiotics) he was sent to the special care nursery. He was poked, prodded, harassed and carefully monitored. Three days later he was proclaimed perfectly healthy.

A month early and under duress
7 lbs 2.8 oz
18 inches
perfectly healthy

Yes, there is a God and He does answer prayers and perform miracles.

tease
–verb (used with object)
1. to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport.
2. to pull apart or separate the adhering fibers of (wool or the like), as in combing or carding; comb or card, as wool; shred.
3. to ruffle (the hair) by holding it at the ends and combing toward the scalp so as to give body to a hairdo.
4. to raise a nap on (cloth) with teasels; teasel.
5. Also, teaser. Television Slang. a short scene or highlight shown at the beginning of a film or television show to attract the audience's attention.
–verb (used without object)

6. to provoke or disturb a person or animal by importunity or persistent petty annoyances.

I have, along with others, been the object associated with this verb for a long time. My (relative) is the master of what, according to the people whose job it is too sooth his victims, is "just teasing."
By telling me that he is just teasing, they suppose that I am to overlook and forgive his behavior, and in fact, that is what I have done until recently. Now, pregnant, exhausted, and with raw emotions, I no longer have the will to do that, and I've asked myself, why should I?

1. to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport.

Why should I tolerate someone irritating and provoking me for sport, for their own entertainment? Isn't life difficult enough without someone needlessly making it, even if only slightly so, more difficult? And isn't it all the worse if this person is someone who supposedly cares for you, who you are expected to maintain a relationship with? I do not need, nor do I want a play ground bully in my life.

6. to provoke or disturb a person or animal by importunity or persistent petty annoyances.

My (spouse of relative) has told me, in an attempt to get me to forgive this behavior, that he is just "yanking my chain." What would happen if this idiom were taken at face value. If a person were to repeatedly pull on a dog's chain, over time, what would happen? The dog would certainly come to distrust and dislike the agitator, and isn't it likely, depending on the disposition of the dog, that it would eventually attack back? How does that likelihood increase if the dog is all ready under some other distress?

No, I will no longer accept the term "just teasing." The word "just" does not appropriately belong to the word "tease." When one person exploits the emotions, weaknesses, or sensitivities of another person for their own entertainment it is nothing short of cruel.

I will not pretend that I am 100% guiltless of ever teasing a person, but I will say that it is not typical of my personality. I do not find pleasure in seeing another person uncomfortable, irritated, or unhappy.

Here is my resolve. I will do my best to never again tease anyone. I will teach my children that it is wrong and in fact punishable behavior to tease another person. I will try, in my own way, to make the world a better place by encouraging all of us, instead, to find pleasure in seeing other people comfortable, content, and happy.

On occasion (which I find far too often) I am asked (often with an accusing tone) how the Duke and I are able to maintain the lifestyle that we do on the budget of church mice. It is true, we don’t have a lot of money. In the 6 years we’ve been married, between the two of us we have had a full time job of 22 months, less than 1/3 of the time. Both of us have had part time jobs, and fairly well paying ones at that, most of the time. That, however, does not explain how the two of us, students our entire marriage, have been able to buy and remodel a very nice house in Seattle, bring two little pups into the mix (an spoil them silly) as well as get away from the city a couple of time per year.

The answer to that, elementary my dear Watson! The Duke and I find one another very entertaining. HA!

No seriously, we have discovered that traditional entertainment is not only out of our budget, but beyond our interest. Everyone has so called disposable income, and we spend ours differently than the typical American.

Let me show you where ours NEVER goes:

Coffee- this one gets me every time. An acquaintance recently told me that she and her husband spend $10,000.00 per year on coffee. Now, most people (including them) would find this ridiculous, but let’s look at a more reasonable number. If each of us drank 5 coffee’s per week at an average cost of $4.00 per drink, that is $40.00 per week, or $2080.00 per year. (That’s nearly two house payments.)

Movies- May we assume 2 movies per month per person? At $8.00 per person plus a very conservative $4.00 each time for popcorn, that’s $40.00 per month or $480.00 per year. (A great weekend get away!)

Dinners Out- How often do average 20 something’s eat out? Or how much does a young couple usually spend each month eating out? I couldn’t find a definitive number, so let me make some conservative assumptions. Let’s assume that the Duke and I ate out to lunch each, 3 times per week, at $6.00 each time. That’s $24.00 per week. Then, let’s say we eat out for dinner once a week, and we choose less expensive places, or go out less often to average it out at $30.00 per outing. So that’s $54.00 per week or $2808.00 per year. Now, the Duke and I do eat out on occasion, we will say once a month at $40.00 per outing, that’s $480.00, and we allow ourselves each $15.00 per month for “forgetting our lunches” that’s $30.00 each week, $360/ year, still we save $1968 per year.

Videos: The Duke and I don’t rent movies very often, maybe 3-4 times per year. I recently read that the average American home rents 6 movies per month. I have a hard time believing that, so let’s say 4 per month, at $5.00 a piece. That’s $240 per year.

Alcohol: We don’t drink alcohol at all. Let’s say that each person in a relationship has 2 drinks per week at $4.00 per drink (even though I don’t drink, I know this is conservative) so, $16 per week, or $832/ year.

Cable: The entire time the Duke and I have been married, we have never subscribed to cable. A basic cable subscription is $30 per month, or $360 per year.

Now, there are other things that we do or avoid that help us save money. I have never purchased a piece of clothing at full retail price, second hand or deeply discounted is more our pace. We buy what ever we can in bulk to save money. We don’t eat a lot of red meat. You get the idea. We also have generous families that value the same things we do, however, all that aside, just the items I’ve listed above save us. . . drum roll please.

$5128.00

That is over $5000.00 dollars per year, just by eating at home, avoiding those “chemical” indulgences, and reading out loud to one another. I have made the argument before and people have told me that they could never “deprive” themselves in such away. I’ll tell you what, when I am sitting in a Jacuzzi tub at a world class lodge in the Methow Valley, I am NOT feeling deprived, but that’s just me, I guess.