Sunday, June 17, 2007

tease
–verb (used with object)
1. to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport.
2. to pull apart or separate the adhering fibers of (wool or the like), as in combing or carding; comb or card, as wool; shred.
3. to ruffle (the hair) by holding it at the ends and combing toward the scalp so as to give body to a hairdo.
4. to raise a nap on (cloth) with teasels; teasel.
5. Also, teaser. Television Slang. a short scene or highlight shown at the beginning of a film or television show to attract the audience's attention.
–verb (used without object)

6. to provoke or disturb a person or animal by importunity or persistent petty annoyances.

I have, along with others, been the object associated with this verb for a long time. My (relative) is the master of what, according to the people whose job it is too sooth his victims, is "just teasing."
By telling me that he is just teasing, they suppose that I am to overlook and forgive his behavior, and in fact, that is what I have done until recently. Now, pregnant, exhausted, and with raw emotions, I no longer have the will to do that, and I've asked myself, why should I?

1. to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport.

Why should I tolerate someone irritating and provoking me for sport, for their own entertainment? Isn't life difficult enough without someone needlessly making it, even if only slightly so, more difficult? And isn't it all the worse if this person is someone who supposedly cares for you, who you are expected to maintain a relationship with? I do not need, nor do I want a play ground bully in my life.

6. to provoke or disturb a person or animal by importunity or persistent petty annoyances.

My (spouse of relative) has told me, in an attempt to get me to forgive this behavior, that he is just "yanking my chain." What would happen if this idiom were taken at face value. If a person were to repeatedly pull on a dog's chain, over time, what would happen? The dog would certainly come to distrust and dislike the agitator, and isn't it likely, depending on the disposition of the dog, that it would eventually attack back? How does that likelihood increase if the dog is all ready under some other distress?

No, I will no longer accept the term "just teasing." The word "just" does not appropriately belong to the word "tease." When one person exploits the emotions, weaknesses, or sensitivities of another person for their own entertainment it is nothing short of cruel.

I will not pretend that I am 100% guiltless of ever teasing a person, but I will say that it is not typical of my personality. I do not find pleasure in seeing another person uncomfortable, irritated, or unhappy.

Here is my resolve. I will do my best to never again tease anyone. I will teach my children that it is wrong and in fact punishable behavior to tease another person. I will try, in my own way, to make the world a better place by encouraging all of us, instead, to find pleasure in seeing other people comfortable, content, and happy.