My cool cousin Lindsay brought this to my attention.

Merry Christmas, Lindsay, I'll miss you and your family this year.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Ben Stein said this. It's written here.

Here with at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Thanks Ben, you rock, oh yeah, and Merry Christmas.

My super smart little sister turned me onto something incredibly cool.

Something that actually helps me deal with everyday life in a very real way, something that helps me stay true to myself in a world that challenges me to change every day, something that gives me peace and helps me deal with the havoc and chaos that is our world.

So you want to know, don't you. . . .

It's the scriptures. "Oh big surprise," you say, "people have been telling me that for years. Plus, Duchess, you've been a Mormon for a long time now, you've served a mission. You obviously were aware of the scriptures a long time ago."

Yes, you are so right, but you didn't let me finish.

It is true that studying the scriptures is one of the few things in my life that calms my overly anxious mind, that gives me strength, that helps me to focus. There is a problem, though. More and more often, as the frenzied pace of the world increases, and I struggle to keep up, I have found it increasingly difficult to find quiet contemplative time to study the scriptures. The most significant problem being, my fast track mind has difficulty slowing down enough to absorb the meaning of the words. I read, but I forget, I study, but I get confused and distracted.

Here is where my darling little sister came to my rescue, an answer to prayer. She told me that she had downloaded the scriptures onto her IPod and listened to them while she did yard work. The two activities combined had a wonderfully calming result.

Princes P. (my sister's online name) and I share much more than genetics. Our anxiety levels and neuroticism run neck and neck. Anything that works for one, may very well work for the other. I decided to give it a try.

Problem: I don't have and IPod (I know, I know, "Duchess, join this century"- my parents offered one as a Christmas present, but I refused in line with my goal to live a simpler life, and due to the fact that I don't listen to music. The noise in my head is more than I can handle. I didn't realize the thing might have other uses.) anyway, no IPod, and my yard is very tiny and only requires maintaining about every two weeks in the summer and never in the winter.

Solution: Another calming antidote to the rat race is knitting. I asked myself, what would happen if I knit and listened to the scriptures at the same time? Miracles of miracles.

I have very specific knitting for this time. I don't have to look at it or pay attention. It is stst in the round for those knitters out there. I close my eyes and the repetitive motion and gentle clicking of the needles provides a sensory focus, a cure for distraction. My laptop overcomes the technology gap, as I don't need it to be portable, and in short order I find myself focused, calm, peaceful, and grateful.

Thanks Princess. You're the best sister a Duchess could ask for.

You can listen to the scriptures here, and yes, it includes both New and Old Testaments for those non-Mormon's out there, although you might try a few chapters of the Book of Mormon just to see what your missing. I recommend 3rd Nephi, chapter 11 and Alma, chapter 32, both are stunningly beautiful.
Just open the chapter you want to hear, the text will appear, and then in the upper left corner of the text you will see a link that says "listen" click it, a small player will appear. Hit the play button and settle back, no need to even download the file.

The Church is so cool!