There are only 10 of them for Heaven's Sake

You wouldn't think that it would be so hard to keep 10 little commandments, but evidently, for our society, it is very difficult.

Honestly, I don't really care if you are Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Agnostic, or other. If the world would just take these ten, think of them as rules for a better world, that is exactly what we would have, a better world. I'm not a religious scholar, but I'm pretty sure that every religion has something similar to the big 10.

Here they are- per the KJ Bible: Exodus 20

1 and 2. Thou shalt have no other god before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.

Well, we have really screwed this up. We worship our jobs, money, our cars, our things, ect, ect. Anything that we give so much of ourselves too that it detracts from the important things in life, (family, spiritual well being, physical well being,) those things have effectually become our gods. Will anyone argue with me that the world would be better off if we put more of a focus on family and health?

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

The name of God is no longer sacred among us. I couldn't count how many times a day I hear his name used as an expletive, or even just in excitement. It is so common that there is even an common Internet abbreviation: OMG! The thing I find ironic, is many of the people that use this expression, would not, if pressed, actually claim him as "their God."
The other way that God's name is taken in vain is when people out there claim to do something in God's name. Let me just tell you right now, NO! God does not need us, simple and weak humans, to accomplish his work, HE'S GOD! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that God doesn't direct people on this earth. I truly believe that he does, but it is not done in a hair raising, media frenzied, debate ensuing, way. It is done in quiet, reverent and sacred ways. It is done in small, almost imperceptible ways that eventually change lives.

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

Do I even need to explain? Sunday is, for many people, the busiest day of the week. I believe that the loss of the Sabbath in our cultures is one of the main causes of the increased pressure and stress in our lives. I could not live without the Sabbath. My Sundays are often very full, they are filled with worship, service, and music. They are also the only day of the week I can nap without feeling guilty, I can spend a few quiet hours with my husband, I can have a break from the day to day chaos that is my life. People would probably be a lot nicer to one another if they had a day in the week to rest, to spend time with their families, to focus on personal reinvigorating.

5. Honor thy father and thy mother.

We are so busy that we can no longer take care of our elderly parents. They are shipped off to a retirement center, where we visit them once or twice a month, if we can get to them. We are also too busy to teach our children the meaning of the word honor. It's not just that they don't honor their parents, either. They don't honor anyone or anything, including themselves. They just don't know how, or understand why they should.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

Um, yeah. We kill each other. We shouldn't.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

I can't even think of this without pain in my heart. How many families would be saved? How many children would be happy and healthy? How many hearts would not be broken? When we commit to a person, we become responsible for that person as well. We are not permitted to be selfish. If there is a problem, it must be fixed, not run from. When it's said like that, isn't it so clear, because that is all adultery is, the selfish and cowardly running from one's problems.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

Recently someone told me that retailers report more losses from their employees than from their customers. I don't know if it is true or not, but just the fact that someone could make that statement and we could all conceive that it might be true; that is an awful thing. This is also about selfishness as well as laziness and a sense of entitlement, we all know it's wrong, but so many people do it anyway.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor.

We live in the most litigious country on the earth. People are not willing to take responsibility for their own problems and their own actions. It is easier to blame in on someone else.

10. Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Ok, so I don't know anyone with a man or maid servant, or even an ox or an ass, but I do know a few people that live a life fraught with envy. Never being satisfied is a terrible way to choose to live your life, and yes, it is a choice. How much happier would we all be if we weren't always having to take care of all our "stuff" in addition to working more hours in order to get more "stuff." Maybe if we weren't so concerned with all that stuff, we would have more time to enjoy our families, and learn more about who we really are.

Now, this is, as I hope you all know, not a self righteous soap box. I have been guilty of not keeping several of these commandments. Even number six, my Buddhist friends have taught me a lot about number six. Yes, I have killed many an insect in my days.
I just want to try to make the world that I live in a better place. I am starting here, because it is such an easy and basic place to start. These are things that I know I can do, with a little self control and determination. And just think what the world would be like if everyone tried to do the same.

Mormons and Sex

That got your attention didn't it. I knew it would

So a while back manichispanc asked this:

This one is more silly than anything else. i can barely keep from giggling as i type this.
anyway, i was told that Mormon couples, prior to getting married, go through the act of sex with a sheet separating them. so, they know whether their marriage will be fulfilling or not.
is there truth?

Ok, short answer, NO! We practice chastity before marriage and fidelity afterwards. What that means is no sex before marriage, kissing is fine, but anything that is sexually arousing is tabo, as it's only purpose is, well, to get each other all worked up- and why torture yourself? After marriage your spouse is your one and only partner. A little more on this in a bit, first lets look at the myth. . .

Shanny, let me remind you that I said all good myths had a basis in truth. I was talking to some friends about this and one of them mentioned that she thought Orthodox Jews may have some tradition like this and that is where it came from, so a little Internet research and this is what I find:

This guy writes an article somewhat like this blog, only about the Jewish religion. He got the same question. Go here to read the whole thing.

http://www.beingjewish.org/jewishemail/resp0429.html

Rabbi number sixth I spoke to had the most plausible explanation to me. After racking his brain he called me back to say that perhaps the rumor comes from a little known Jewish divorce law that speaks of a spouse willing to have sex only through a sheet. This is considered so bad, that the other partner can cite "the sheet" as grounds for divorce--with no financial remuneration! In other words the law condemns such behavior.

OK, so that is a NO for the Jews too.
Now, lets talk a little bit about why we practise this belief. I know there are all sorts of reasons that you could give me on why one shouldn't wait until marriage to have sex. I've heard them all before. Let me tell you why I disagree.
1. I know that my husband respects me. If a man will date me for over a year and go through a 9 month engagement with me, I know he's in it for more than the sex, he must really love me.
2. STDs??? Not a concern, at all.
3. Insecurities in the bedroom? Not me, I know my hubby has nothing to compare me to. I am the best he has ever had, period. He knows the same for me.
4. A lack of insecurities makes it easy to be creative, have fun, and try new things. We are free to say we do or do not like something, knowing that there is nothing behind it, other than love, excitement, and making each other happy.
5. No regrets.
Five very good reasons (and I have others if you want to go further) that, in my opinion, are a lot more important and positive than any reason someone can give me for not "restricting" yourself sexually.
Now that I have said all of that, let me also say, that everyone comes into a relationship with baggage. Less anyone conclude that I think people who have not lived (for what ever reason) the same lifestyle I have chosen, are of any less value, or are somehow worse off than me. Love is about acceptance, forgiveness, and relying on the Savior. He suffered for our sins, and he will take them if we are willing to give them up. He is the great healer, and he heals heart and minds, not just bodies. He also heals our relationships, and helps us understand and love one another more. We have an opportunity to love our partners more with his help, and what greater gift could we give?

My cool cousin Lindsay brought this to my attention.

Merry Christmas, Lindsay, I'll miss you and your family this year.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Ben Stein said this. It's written here.

Here with at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Thanks Ben, you rock, oh yeah, and Merry Christmas.

My super smart little sister turned me onto something incredibly cool.

Something that actually helps me deal with everyday life in a very real way, something that helps me stay true to myself in a world that challenges me to change every day, something that gives me peace and helps me deal with the havoc and chaos that is our world.

So you want to know, don't you. . . .

It's the scriptures. "Oh big surprise," you say, "people have been telling me that for years. Plus, Duchess, you've been a Mormon for a long time now, you've served a mission. You obviously were aware of the scriptures a long time ago."

Yes, you are so right, but you didn't let me finish.

It is true that studying the scriptures is one of the few things in my life that calms my overly anxious mind, that gives me strength, that helps me to focus. There is a problem, though. More and more often, as the frenzied pace of the world increases, and I struggle to keep up, I have found it increasingly difficult to find quiet contemplative time to study the scriptures. The most significant problem being, my fast track mind has difficulty slowing down enough to absorb the meaning of the words. I read, but I forget, I study, but I get confused and distracted.

Here is where my darling little sister came to my rescue, an answer to prayer. She told me that she had downloaded the scriptures onto her IPod and listened to them while she did yard work. The two activities combined had a wonderfully calming result.

Princes P. (my sister's online name) and I share much more than genetics. Our anxiety levels and neuroticism run neck and neck. Anything that works for one, may very well work for the other. I decided to give it a try.

Problem: I don't have and IPod (I know, I know, "Duchess, join this century"- my parents offered one as a Christmas present, but I refused in line with my goal to live a simpler life, and due to the fact that I don't listen to music. The noise in my head is more than I can handle. I didn't realize the thing might have other uses.) anyway, no IPod, and my yard is very tiny and only requires maintaining about every two weeks in the summer and never in the winter.

Solution: Another calming antidote to the rat race is knitting. I asked myself, what would happen if I knit and listened to the scriptures at the same time? Miracles of miracles.

I have very specific knitting for this time. I don't have to look at it or pay attention. It is stst in the round for those knitters out there. I close my eyes and the repetitive motion and gentle clicking of the needles provides a sensory focus, a cure for distraction. My laptop overcomes the technology gap, as I don't need it to be portable, and in short order I find myself focused, calm, peaceful, and grateful.

Thanks Princess. You're the best sister a Duchess could ask for.

You can listen to the scriptures here, and yes, it includes both New and Old Testaments for those non-Mormon's out there, although you might try a few chapters of the Book of Mormon just to see what your missing. I recommend 3rd Nephi, chapter 11 and Alma, chapter 32, both are stunningly beautiful.
Just open the chapter you want to hear, the text will appear, and then in the upper left corner of the text you will see a link that says "listen" click it, a small player will appear. Hit the play button and settle back, no need to even download the file.

The Church is so cool!

52 Ways to Have Fun without Alcohol. . . a series.

I was going to make it 101 ways, but I wasn't sure if I could do that all on my own. I figured, if I can come up with 52 then you have at least one a week to try out.

So with no further delay

1. Tonight we gathered a few friends (both Mormon and otherwise) and headed to Snohomish, WA to visit Stocker Farm's corn maze. It was great fun. Under what other circumstances are adults permitted to run around in the dark, chasing after one another, and not have the cops called on them? We first found our way thorough the maze together as a group, then we decided that a game was in order.
Each of us ran alone into the maze (and we are talking about several acres of corn,) in two minute intervals. We ran walked or jogged through the maze looking for one another. We weren't allowed to exit the maze until we were all in a group again. It took us about 40 min or so to all find one another. When we did, we then decided to race to the end. Women vs. Men. The men won, as Tzarina and I stopped to try to decide if we should stay in the maze and let the men worry about what happened to us, or if we were done and ready for something to warm us up. The call of Apple Cider was stronger than our desire to scare our male counterparts, and we met up with them soon after.
We moved our party to a little known coffee shop called Starbucks, enjoyed some caramel apple cider and hot chocolate, and engaged in stimulating conversation, something often missing from alcoholcentric get togethers.
A very enjoyable evening.

So Manic Hispanic gets the prize for asking it first. . . because I know there were others who wanted to.

"I heard mormons get a full body undergarment (we called them mormon undies in high school) after their mission. That one is suppsed to wear them at all times and if they show then the clothes you are wearing are not modest enough.
wouldn't they start to smell if you always wore them?
did you get a pair?
is this a load of horse hockey?"

Like all good myths, this one has its origins in truth, and so we must begin at the beginning.

So lets start out with a mini discusion of the word "sacred." Can anyone give me a defenition? Anyone? Yes, you in the wings and halo, thank you.

According to dictionary.com:

1.	devoted or dedicated to a deity or to some religious purpose; consecrated.

2.	entitled to veneration or religious respect by association with divinity or divine things; holy.

3.	pertaining to or connected with religion (opposed to secular or profane): sacred music; sacred books.

4.	reverently dedicated to some person, purpose, or object: a morning hour sacred to study.

5.	regarded with reverence: the sacred memory of a dead hero.

6.	secured against violation, infringement, etc., as by reverence or sense of right: sacred oaths; sacred rights.

7.	properly immune from violence, interference, etc., as a person or office.

Yes, thank you, a very complete answer.
Now, I know what you are thinking, "Hello, Duchess, we know what the word sacred means, we are mostly college educated and aren't totally illerterate." I know, I know. I just wanted to be clear. I'm sure all of you also know that our society basically doesn't understand the concept of sacred, even if they can define it. Evidenced by the common question "Is nothing sacred anymore?"
And my answer, well yes, but only to those individuals who hold things sacred, and therefore, if you hold something sacred, you would be smart, and entirly appropriate to keep that thing protected and keep it within the sphere of others who also hold it sacred. Perhaps you may have read or heard the Biblical term for this, we are told to not "cast our pearls before swine." Now it's pretty clear why you wouldn't take a beautiful strand of pearls and throw them into a pig pen. It's not that there is anything wrong with the pig, it's just doing what pigs do. It wallows in mud, eats, sleeps, lives a good pigs life, but it wouldn't appreciate the pearls, and while it might find them momentarily interesting, it would not know what to do with them or how to care for them.
OK, so now that we know all about pearls and pigs, lets talk a little about LDS temples. If you live in the US you have likely seen an LDS temple. They are stunning and magnificent buildings with luxourious grounds. There is one here in Bellevue, if you haven't seen it, take a drive over, it's a beautiful building and the Duke's dad helped to build it when he was a baby.
You may have also seen our somewhat plain chapels, where we go to church on Sundays. We don't attend the temple on Sundays, they are open Tues-Sat, generally. So what do we do in the temples?
The temples are of the greatest importance to our religion. Inside of them is where we participate in ceremonies, (simple in nature, no puppies, no chickens, no wierdness) to seal our families together for eternity. For instance, the Duke and I were married in the Salt Lake City temple, but the ceremony contains no reference to "death do you part." Instead, you covenant with one another to form a marriage, a bond, a family that will last through eternity. We believe that families can remain intact in the following life, if certain criteria are met. In addition to sealing ceremonies we learn what those criteria are and how we are to meet them, then we make promices both to our families and to God that we will do those things. So the main thing that we do in the temples is learning.
We don't talk a lot about what we do in the temple because it is so sacred to us, as it deals with both our God and our families. It is also one of those experiences that you can't really understand until you've done it yourself, you know, like bungee jumping, so it's really pointless to talk about it with people who haven't experienced it.
So, that's all well and good, but we aren't able to go to the temple everyday, and usually not even once a week. There is not perscribed number of times you should go, but once a month is common. So, in the meantime, how do we remember the promices that we have made to God and to our spouces (and children.)
Humans have an uncanny ability to forget really important things. If this wasn't so, no husband would ever forget his anniversary. Some other case-in-points: people often forget, in the day to day grind, why they originally fell in love with thier partner. People forget to thank one another for all sorts of things. People forget how much they love their children.
And so, I finally get to the answer to the question. Once you go through the temple for the first time, this is usually right before you either serve a mission or get married, you are given special clothing to wear to help you remember the promices that you have made in the temple. We refer to them as garments, usually, although the official name is "garments of the holy priesthood." We wear them under our clothes and they consist of what looks like a tee shirt (or more of a baby-tee for women) and shorts (or more like boxers for men.)
We always keep them covered because they are sacred and personal. They are not "full body" undies, as many of you have seen me wear baby tees and knee length skirts. I assure you that I was wearing them, because I always do. They don't get stinky because you can buy as many pairs as you want, and it is perfectly legit (and in fact expected) to throw them in your washing machine. They come in different cuts, sizes, fabrics, lots of options. It is also perfectly acceptable to take your garments off for activites that they are not appropriate for, such as swimming, water skiing, going to the beach, etc. We wear them whenever it is possible, but always keep them covered, and take them off entirly if we can't keep them covered.
They act in much the same way that the yarmulka, prayer belt, and black clothing can for traditional Jews, they remind us of our covenants and our convictions.

In additionn, without making light of something sacred, they do have other benefits:
1. I never have a panty line.
2. I never have a wedgie.
3. I don't need to wear a slip in most cases.

So there you go Manic Hispanic, the truth about "Mormon undies."

Please forgive me for spelling mistakes, blogger's spell check doesn't appear to be working.

So Jesse has (via his darling, and my darling friend Kat) posed the question:

"Do you have a trampoline?"

No, I do not have a trampoline, nor have I ever had a trampoline.

Let me explain.

I wasn't raised Mormon, thus, no trampoline, and I have no children as of yet, thus, no trampoline. So, one might ask, what does that have to do with the price of tea in China. Well, nothing actually.

So I wrote recently about how we value children, there are a lot of children in Mormondom, and the chaos of raising multiple children is a common "issue" Mormon moms deal with. Enter the trampoline.
I have hear rumors that when children get to be a certain age you can buy them a trampoline and tell them that if they jump high enough, long enough, they will be able to jump up to Heaven.
Now, it's not that we actually believe such non-sense, but kids do, and if they are jumping continually on a trampoline, they are not running around driving their mothers' crazy.
They are, in a single known location, doing something physically active, that's only somewhat dangerous, perfectly legal, and may even be thinking about Heaven. (Though I personally am not convinced. I have taught children's Sunday School before. If they aren't thinking of Heaven in Sunday School. . .well I guess we'll invoke "benifit of the doubt" here.)
One might ask if it's moral to lead your child to believe such a thing. In my opinion it is very healthy to teach a child skepticism. They must learn it somehow. In fact, the LDS church expects it's members to question every gospel principle. We believe that every person must find out if things are true for themselves. I think the trampoline method is an excellent way to introduce this concept.

Now, things to add to my to do list:
1. start saving for a trampoline
2. find out from Mormon moms how young it too young to get kids started on this (do they have to be able to walk first?)

It's Sunday.
It's Sunday and I wasn't able to go to church today.
That sucks.
Probably isn't appropriate to say "sucks" about something church related.
Well, that's what happens when you aren't able to go to church, you say things that aren't appropriate.

The Duke came home from church so cheerful that he was whistling. That's what I love about church. Does anyone ever come home from work, or school, or from doing errands so happy that they whistle? If you do, don't tell me, I won't like you.

Think of what we refer to our lives as:
The Rat Race
The Daily Grind
Survival of the Fittest
The Vicious Circle
It's a Jungle out There

And how do we deal with it?
One day at a time
Drowning our sorrows
As best we can
One foot in front of the other

So I go to church for three hours every week. I take the sacrament to remind myself that someone whom I have never met loved me enough to give his life for me. I listen to my friends share their thoughts on life, the gospel, and the scriptures. I participate in group discussions where I share my thoughts and feelings and learn from the other people in my ward. I sing along to and listen to uplifting and inspired music.
It's three hours every week. That's 1/56th of my week. How could I say no to spending 1/56th of my week doing something that will make me feel better about the world that we live in, that will help me understand who I am and why I'm here, that will sustain me and give me strength to get through the rest of the week.

I can't say no to that, and why would I want to?

So you see, I wasn't able to go to church today, so the rest of this week will probably suck.

What would you do?

Let's say you built a beautiful house, custom everything, all the upgrades, in a lovely neighborhood. And when I say you built it, I mean YOU built it, not you hired someone to build it. You intended to live there the rest of your life, you have no intention of ever moving again, in fact this house, and the grounds are so amazing you intend to pass this estate onto your children and they to their grandchildren.

And then. . . the neighborhood starts to get run down, your neighbors start to move out leaving their older houses vacant. A few miles away a new neighborhood begins to be the "in" place to live, "anyone who is anyone" is moving there.

What would you do? Would you move too?

If you were a Mormon you might chose to take your cue from the LDS church.

The Salt Lake Temple in Salt Lake City is a symbol of the LDS faith recognized throughout the world. It is a magnificent structure, built over the course of 40 years by Mormon pioneers. Everything was done by hand, there were no power tools, the marble was quarried and hauled out of mountains, the designs in the marble were etched by hand, the woodwork was all chiseled by hand, the murals that cover the walls are all hand painted originals, the gardens win national awards year after year.
The building itself is a treasure of American History, so when Downtown Salt Lake City started to get a little dusty and deserted, the church administration decided to do something about it. And when I say something I mean SOMETHING.
It was announced at general conference two weeks ago and this week's Church News (isn't it cool that we have our own weekly newspaper?) gave the details. I for one can't wait to see it- maybe I'll even consider visiting by 2011. (I'm kidding mom, maybe 2009.)
You can read what they are planning here.

So, why did I write about this?
I think we all have an opportunity to make the place that we are better. We all have limited resources of time and energy in this life. If I choose to put my time and energy into something, such as my house, my job, and my family, those things should become important to me. If things take a down turn, if my back yard is overgrown, if the business experiences a bad year, if my husband is too busy for me, it would be easy to close the blinds, find a new job, or - well I can't even write it, but you get the idea. It's more difficult to say, this is important to me and I will be creative, I will put forth all I have to make this better, I will give MORE when more is what is needed. But in the end, if something is important enough for you to give your time and energy too, shouldn't it be important enough to "save" if needs be.
Now don't get me wrong, I quit a job once, but I only stayed there for 6 months before I knew it wasn't worth what I was giving it. I had to cut my losses and go. It just seems like our society is all about getting out, moving on, skipping town. I say, my life is important to me, I only get to live it once. I will live it in a way that I will want to defend, I will spend it in activities that are worth giving it to.

Some of the questions that I have been asked as of late, and a generally good place to keep track of the topics I would like to write about.

If you have a question, leave a comment, I'll consider it.

-No alcohol, ever? Never ever? How? WHAT! no coffee either, and you live in SEATTLE?
-What on earth would posses you to go live in the Jungle for two years?
-What's with the "I don't do that on Sunday" thing?
-Three hours? Seriously, three hours in one day, every week?
-Do you REALLY kill puppies in those temples of yours? (seriously, read this on the internet a few days ago. -- and NO -- what is wrong with people!)

OK, that's a good start for now.

What do YOU want to know?

As if I don't have enough to do.

And so begins this, my newest blog.

I keep another blog, all about my knitting adventures, as well as life in general, but the people that read it, read it for knitting content, not my religious beliefs. That said, I really felt I needed a place to address the adventures and misadventures of being a Mormon in Seattle.

Here is how it all began

A few days ago I was in a public place. I was standing outside of a room full of women who I am vaguely acquainted with, the door was open. This is what I hear. . .

loud laughter
"And I said, what are you a MORMON or something? Quit wasting my time."
more loud laughter

I didn't stick around to hear any more of the conversation. It didn't really matter to me what it was about, anyway.

I walked down a flight of stairs and commented to a friend (who knows my religious affiliation) about what I had just heard. Her response:

Well, it is a pretty common punch line.

Was that supposed to make me feel better? I wasn't feeling terribly well that day, so I told myself that I was likely being too sensitive and I just needed to go home and sleep, so I did. When I woke up I remembered, and the next day, I remembered again, and the next day, and today I decided I MUST VENT!

I was wondering if that line has been changed if people would think it less funny, less appropriate. . .

"What are you JEWISH or something?"
"What are you a MEXICAN or something?"
"What are you GAY or something?"

I certainly would not say any of those things.

Then, last night, as I'm sitting here in my living room, being sick, and watching reruns of That 70's Show (which I find hysterical,) Red Forman asks why all these kids go everywhere with him and proclaims,

"I feel like a damned Mormon."

Now that I found funny, very funny. Why? That is what I asked myself.

My answer, because it's true. Mormon families often have several kids, I plan on having about 3 of my own, and if my husband has his way, it will be more. We value family, we value children, and yes, it causes havoc and chaos sometimes. THAT'S why it's funny.

So why was the woman's comment not funny to me? Well, I didn't know the context, but it was the way that she said it for one. It was devaluing something I hold dearly, it wasn't pointing out an unusual quirk. What ever the person did or said that prompted her to make the comment was "wasting her time." Are my core values and beliefs a waste of time? No, no they are not.

I'm sure (OK, not sure, I hope) that this woman didn't realize that what she said was inappropriate. However, it does point out to me that she is ill informed and ill educated. Even if it wasn't intentionally prejudicial, it was ignorant.

And so, what do I do about it? I write. I write about what it means to me to be LDS, why I believe what I do, and how I came to believe it. I write about how I act the way I do, and why. I write about the comical, and not so comical aspects of being a Mormon, and hope that maybe one or two people will be better informed, better educated on what it means to be a Mormon.

That is, what it means other than being the unappreciating punchline to poorly conceived humor.